Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
