apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
