gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize