So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
