No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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