no, he came in my armpit
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
