Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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