yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
