I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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