i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
