Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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