Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
