Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
