It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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