We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
