I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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