i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
