Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid

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  (610): oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid http://tfl.nu/g7bt
  Replies (6) Good night (2341) Bad night (575)
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  (408): View more from California

  hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner

  (1-408): View more from California

  if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends

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  (408): hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner (1-408): if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends http://tfl.nu/qgda
  Replies (29) Good night (4691) Bad night (1049)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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  (719): I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment. http://tfl.nu/wmih
  Replies (15) Good night (3079) Bad night (728)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"

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  (636): she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you" http://tfl.nu/5amp
  Replies (41) Good night (882) Bad night (8642)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.

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  (847): I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning. http://tfl.nu/5xxn
  Replies (20) Good night (3671) Bad night (1224)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other

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  (401): We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other http://tfl.nu/z80n
  Replies (14) Good night (1761) Bad night (4291)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2781) Bad night (922)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now

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  (612): New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now http://tfl.nu/fnbr
  Replies (11) Good night (2015) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?

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  (425): OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES? http://tfl.nu/syph
  Replies (18) Good night (2228) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.

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  (585): I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING. http://tfl.nu/4rg4
  Replies (14) Good night (1437) Bad night (418)
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  (212): View more from New York

  How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?

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  (212): How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour? http://tfl.nu/2ooq
  Replies (6) Good night (585) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit is preposterous

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  (610): I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans (610): Shit is preposterous http://tfl.nu/iova
  Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.

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  (516): I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch. http://tfl.nu/npbk
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (284)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Our relationship needs a sober moment

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  I'll call you when that happens

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  (719): Our relationship needs a sober moment (1-719): I'll call you when that happens http://tfl.nu/srmb
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (272)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone

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  (443): Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone http://tfl.nu/3q0e
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (272)

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