Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.

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  (850): He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person. http://tfl.nu/yofm
  Replies (13) Good night (848) Bad night (4381)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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  (+44): The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad... http://tfl.nu/0y4t
  Replies (5) Good night (872) Bad night (2189)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final

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  (724): Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final http://tfl.nu/g3gv
  Replies (7) Good night (2624) Bad night (1088)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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  (225): I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am http://tfl.nu/iw2h
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (1821)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.

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  (843): Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing. http://tfl.nu/zggy
  Replies (5) Good night (2121) Bad night (722)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"

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  (980): Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened" http://tfl.nu/41rs
  Replies (12) Good night (3365) Bad night (1054)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1737) Bad night (685)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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  (904): I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast... http://tfl.nu/hk8s
  Replies (7) Good night (1632) Bad night (1651)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

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  (314): Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won http://tfl.nu/r5as
  Replies (6) Good night (3658) Bad night (835)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.

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  (773): Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days. http://tfl.nu/hblx
  Replies (6) Good night (1203) Bad night (585)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.

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  (808): I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it. http://tfl.nu/dne1
  Replies (11) Good night (1085) Bad night (577)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.

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  (281): I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman. http://tfl.nu/ux8x
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (489)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.

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  (307): I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink. http://tfl.nu/yj2y
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (361)
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  (371): View more from

  My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?

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  (371): My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/twzd
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (244)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.

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  (416): You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions. http://tfl.nu/xw97
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (341)

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