why didn't you poke me back
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."