i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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