Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW