Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
so much tequila, so little girl.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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