Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN