The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
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I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping