I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize