Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
