so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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