Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
