dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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