I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
false alarm, still single
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