That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
