you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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