He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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