dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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