Betty ford says i'm here all night
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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