just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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