mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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