I can text with my tongue
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
