Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
