He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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