Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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