how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
