Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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