listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
worst night to have a conscience
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
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And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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