is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
