i don't like sucking hair
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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