id be glad to
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
