no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.