Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not