is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
