then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This is not my ceiling
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.