Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.