hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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