And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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