This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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