i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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