haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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