The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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