you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
