dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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