i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
