is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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