I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
