No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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