please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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