Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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