Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
