It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
