You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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