he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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