Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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