would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
