Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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