is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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