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• (740): View more from Ohio

  i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

  Fav 35 976 4922

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you trying to threaten my boobs?

  Fav 17 3362 1200

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.

  Fav 13 4199 1000

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• (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

  Fav 18 1677 9218

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!

  Fav 4 1408 861

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.

  Fav 7 797 1257

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have major gossip for you.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh no, did you have sex last night?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina

  Fav 8 2218 810

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

  Fav 2 1324 642

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused

  Fav 2 1330 551

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?

  Fav 1 198 101

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Or nah

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• (415): View more from California

  I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great

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