i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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