So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix