I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
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hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".