I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
