she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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