he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We are all done wearing pants today
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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