She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
