hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i dont even know how to be here
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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