so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So vagazzling was a success
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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