i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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